You’re Not Helping

Sometimes I find myself thinking: “I do not have anyone helping me!”

Okay, I kid. It isn’t sometimes…it is practically all the time.

The Husband is a neat freak but lacks organizational skills. I’m pretty relaxed with housecleaning chores in the sense I do not see the need to dust the same piece of furniture five times a day. However, I’m a stickler for having things organized. I like things to be in their place…but with six people living in a small house, that’s not always the case.

Yesterday, I found myself in a mood of frustration. The kids and their friends were in and out of the house, dishes were piled in the sink, none of the kids had done their chores and I had a list of things I needed to do before The Husband got home. I was feeling overwhelmed and I started to whine to God: “I need help!”

Immediately, the thought of a conversation I had with my visiting teacher came forth to my mind.

VT: “Jaime, is there anything I can do to help you?”

Me:”Nope! I’m good!”

The same conversation with different people asking the same question came forth like a slide show with my answer always being the same: “Nope! I’m good!”

And there it is.

The truth hit me hard. It wasn’t that I didn’t have help…it was I wasn’t being humble enough to accept the offers of help given.

Pride and being stubborn were the biggest reasons for my declining help. Believe it or not, I’m a private person when it comes to my space. I’m also a tad of a control freak with a dash of laziness. I have a routine and anything that shifts from this routine or has me giving up control makes me want to climb back in bed and pull the covers over my head.

It dawned on me as I was sweeping my living room for the fifteenth time that day...not because of cleaning OCD but because it truly needed it…that my stubborn inability to delegate and my snobbish pride had been blocking me from receiving the blessings of having help AND preventing others from receiving blessings derived from being able to serve.

Who hasn’t enjoyed the feeling of serving someone and knowing in some small way you have made an impact on their lives in their time of need?

I have denied help from people because I didn’t want to admit I was not ‘Super Woman” and couldn’t do everything on my own.There is also this discomfort when I veer off from my routine, even when it is for my own benefit.

Is it just me or are there others who find they have difficulty asking and accepting help? What ways have you found that has helped you get over it?

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Faith

There is a thin line I cross when it comes to encouraging my children to attend church and forcing them (with bribery, threats, and evil glares) to attend church. I walk this line each week, cautiously, trying not to sway to the art of force. It’s not easy. It’s frustrating. There are many times I want to throw my hands up in the air and give up. Is my being  Mormon worth the headache?  The Husband doesn’t even believe in God! How am I supposed to be a good example and prove the truth of the Gospel when he doesn’t believe God exists? And how do I be a spiritual leader to our children without causing friction between The Husband and I?

It’s difficult. It’s very, very difficult.

I have always had a strong faith in God, but when it came to religion, I couldn’t grasp why there were so many religions out there all claiming to be true. How do we know which one is right? How could I be right?

I believe God exists and I believe what the LDS Church teaches is true. (You can read my testimony here.) It took many incarnations and lifetimes for me to get to where I am today. During my moments in prayer, I have begun to understand why I converted and accepted what I know to be true two years ago verses ten years ago. There is a season for everything and when I find myself feeling frustrated about where my husband is on his spiritual journey, I force myself to remember that I wasn’t always in this place. I wasn’t always content in my faith.

However, today...this moment…what keeps me going…what keeps me coming back to church every Sunday… what has me continuing to pursue spiritual knowledge… is simply: faith. I feel the presence of God in my life. I know His existence is real and I know the Scriptures to be true. I’ve prayed for a contentment like this my entire life and in His time and in His wisdom and grace…He gave it to me.

Now I pray for the same contentment for my husband. For my children. And I know it will never be in the way I think it should be…in the manner of how it should be given…it isn’t my call. Yet, I have faith my prayers will be answered.

God shows Himself to those who are ready and want to receive Him. I pray my husband and children experience His love and grace. When we  experience the grace of God’s light…big or small…our lives will change drastically. Things are not magically easier, but we develop a wisdom we didn’t have before. Faith is funny like that…we don’t have to prove or explain…we are content within our hearts that what we know to be true… just is.

When we’re ready…God is there. Our eyes and heart are opened to the fact that He never left us. Ever.

 

 

 

Why So Modest?

I love clothes. I love shoes. I love everything there is regarding fashion. I’m a freak of nature because whilst I love to be in the know of the current trends, I despise shopping malls and trying on clothes. I know, right? It’s like I’m destined to be miserable. (But then God created the Internet…and I  have fell in love with online shopping.)

I want my daughters and I to be trendy, but I am also teaching them you can still be a fashionista and practice modesty as well.

The Principle of Modesty

“Some Latter-day Saints may feel that modesty is a tradition of the Church or that it has evolved from conservative, puritanical behavior. Modesty is not just cultural. Modesty is a gospel principle that applies to people of all cultures and ages. In fact, modesty is fundamental to being worthy of the Spirit. To be modest is to be humble, and being humble invites the Spirit to be with us.”

~ Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Modesty: Reverence for the Lord,” Liahona, August 2008, 18; Ensign, August 2008, 34

In today’s fashion world, it isn’t easy to find modest and stylish clothing. Modesty does not mean you must look like an old maid. To maintain an attitude of humility it starts with your clothing choice. It truly is an example of “Cause and Effect.” Let me explain:

Your clothing does effect your attitude. Have you ever spilled something on your brand-new outfit and immediately find yourself less outgoing because all you’re thinking about it is that stain? When we dress provocatively, then our attitude is going to be provocative. Feel sexy? Well, you’re going to portray sexy. A sixteen year old girl wearing an immodest outfit with the attitude of being provocative doesn’t always end at her clothing choice. She feels sexy. She has more of a relaxed view now of the principles she was raised with and her guard is down. More often than not, the immodest clothing choice leads to reckless behavior.

I know, you are probably thinking I’m being an alarmist and one of those Molly Mormon types who wear her skirts to her ankles. Nope, not at all. I speak from experience. I was once one of those teenagers who ignored the values I was raised with to dabble in activities that were not becoming of anyone…at any age. If I’m truly honest with myself, I can see it started with how I wanted to present myself in public. It started with my outward appearance.

“Is what we are wearing detracting from the Spirit?”

Modesty is one of those things you must pray about and develop into your own conscience. As a Mom, I want my children to be able to express themselves and find their own style. Fashion is fun and when we adapt a modest attire, we adapt a modest attitude…it doesn’t mean the fun has to end.

Modest Online Stores:

Jen Clothing

White Elegance

I love shopping on Etsy for original outfits. I could be on Etsy all day shopping. (I have.)