The Visiting/Home Teaching Dilemna

Since my conversion in 2009, I have never had an active Visiting Teaching partner and have never done a VT with someone assigned to partner with me. At first, I was ill at ease to do my visiting teaching by myself.  I thought being a convert, I’d be paired up with someone more ‘seasoned’ if you will. After a while, I accepted it and in the past year, I’ve worked alone and did the best I could with making time for the sisters I’m assigned to teach. Some months it’s a card or a letter, maybe just a phone call…but I try because I look forward towards my visit teachers visiting/teaching me and to be honest…it’s a pretty cool gig.

Earlier today when I called to schedule my meetings, one of my households asked who my partner was. This took me by surprise as it’s been quite apparent I didn’t have one. She gave me a tsk tsk…and said I should have one. I MUST  have one.

I hung up the phone with a knot in my stomach. Sighing, I wondered why something which carries many blessings have to be so difficult?

Sometimes things aren’t going to be exactly the way they’re meant to be. That’s called life. Usually, I only have one teacher visit me, but I never doubt either of their compassion or love for me. Schedule conflicts, time restraints, family duties…it isn’t always the ideal scenario in which the Church instructs for us. You do the best you can and hope for the best

I always brag about my visiting teachers because both have taught me many things in very nontraditional ways. I never felt their visits or  speaking with me during church breaks were ‘dutiful’. It has been my hope and prayer that the ladies I teach feel the same way about me as I look forward towards visiting with them.

Of course, being I am a paranoid and insecure person, I immediately thought the woman who tsk tsk me doesn’t like me or perhaps I offended her? We all seek wisdom and guidance from others and I’m the least knowledgeable between the two of us.  I can totally understand her wanting  to have someone else there, preferably a person who didn’t sound like Mae West.

I guess the entire thing took me by surprise as I am one of those people who feel we are all doing the best we can do. Knowing the ward list for visiting teaching is a never-ending chore as members move in and out all the time, I didn’t want to nag my district supervisor about having a partner. She-along with the entire RS presidency knows already and have been working on it.

As for home teaching, I’ve had two visits from my home teacher since my joining the ward in 2009. The two visits are from my current home teachers as I went the first two years without home teaching. (If I had  home teachers, I was not aware of them.) I’ve toyed with the idea of casually suggesting new home teachers as one is a good friend and there is a huge schedule conflict between the three of us, but I keep thinking it will all work out.

But it hasn’t…and this is why:

I am in a place in my life in which  I need to surround myself with as many spiritual leaders as I can. I need more spirituality from leaders in the church…as being married to a non-member, it is easy (and quite justifiable) to find reasons and excuses that go against church doctrine. I often find myself feeling as if I’m treading water and at any moment the beginning of a leg cramp is going to take me under.

So dear readers, I ask you: How do you handle visiting teaching and home teaching? Life is busy and conflicted for so many…how do we remain influential when we ourselves are at times struggling?

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3 thoughts on “The Visiting/Home Teaching Dilemna

  1. I love your blog. I am also married to a non-member and find in my ward my kids and I are often left out of a lot of social circles. As for home teaching, I do not even get home teaching! I’ve mentioned it to my bishop a few times and he says he would work on it, but nothing yet.

    As for visiting teaching, I love my visiting teachers! This is something that makes me wonder if the equality of the church between the two genders will be more strong as it seems the women do find the time to do their callings. But that’s just my opinion!

    I find taking the time to visit and do for others takes the focus off myself and I feel better for serving. It’s hard…but the blessings are rewarding!

  2. I have been reading your blog for a long time. First time posting though. My wife and I were married in the Atlanta temple. My wife is a fourth generation LDS member and my parents converted when I was twelve and I was baptized at the age of sixteen. I was very fortunate to go on a mission and met my wife after graduating from college.
    We moved from the south and settled in another state and started growing our family. We’ve been in the same ward for over ten years.

    This is what I have noticed in our ward (not saying it is the same in all) Long term members seemed to be taken care of. The ones who have more prestigious callings and fall on difficult times seem to have more of a rush of support.

    This is only this one particular ward and NOT the entire way the church is done. I firmly believe this is the actions of the adversary.

    The adversary knows our weak spots. The adversary does not want us knowing the gospel and does not want us sharing it. He works the people who want to serve Heavenly Father.

    Our faith is our responsibility first and foremost. It is nice when we can rely on our ward family to build us up which is what we should expect, but we also must be on guard because like you said: “What should be sometimes isn’t.”

  3. I like Mark’s comments…very candid yet not condemning. I do giggle at the word adversary. Reminds me of Harry Potter’s “He who must not be named”. Ol’ Voldemort is at it again! That sneaky rascal!

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