I haven’t written in a while because life has gotten in the way of my blogging. It happens. I have found my life as a writer has taken me on a different course, which has made blogging difficult. This isn’t all together a bad thing, just means I’ll be blogging in spurts.
I’ve mentioned this before in a previous entry, however, I am compelled to write about it again. “Doing bad, never leads to good.” This has been proven true in my life many times, even when the ‘bad’ isn’t necessary intentional.
As an alcoholic, there is always that want, that need, to have a drink, especially when life is freaking hard. I don’t like to admit it, but I love the feeling of having an escape from reality, whether it be with alcohol or prescription drugs. Life sucks, so make it better with a drink or seven. That was my motto. That’s how I thought. And sometimes I find myself thinking, “Why not?”
Here is the truth: Nothing good has ever came out of my drinking. NOT ONE THING. I have never woke up from a night of drinking and thought, “Wow, that was amazing.” I’ve only felt guilt and shame. Humiliation. I’m the drunk that has to have everyone know she’s drunk-which again, never leads to anything positive.
We’ve all heard the scripture in which we are told we cannot slave for two masters. This is something I keep telling myself. Either I succumb to life as a drunk or I live my life as the daughter of God in the way He meant for me.
Last month’s visiting teaching message was that Latter Day Saint women recognize their strength comes from the Lord’s atonement and they will not give up during difficult times.
I’m proud to be a Latter Day Saint woman, because I know no matter how many times I trip or fail, I’ll never give up.