Dealing With Anger

I’ve been pondering over the subject of anger. I’m not sure if most of my issues with anger comes from the fact that deep down I’m really a spoiled child with Puerto-Rican genes or I’m just a naturally selfish person. My tendency towards becoming frustrated seems to be geared from not getting my way which often leads to anger.

We are down to one car right now as our truck has decided to go into a coma. It’s been a rough week, because I’m completely home bound. I’ve taken to long walks with toddlers-which let me tell you- is fun for about two minutes. Yesterday, it took an hour for us to even make it out the front door and by the time we made it to the Stop sign at the end of the road, I was cursing my husband in my head for not having our vehicle repaired in what I felt a timely manner. In no time, I was miserable… overcome by a state of disquiet and agitation.

Having four kids of my own, dealing with babies and toddlers all day,  running my writing business, attending school, and still maintaining the role of a good wife, often puts me in situations in which I feel out of control and unable to orchestrate things MY way. Having a serene disposition during the times of aggravation would be wonderful…but seems (to me) an unrealistic fantasy.

But it isn’t…

I was compelled to study and meditate this subject, not only for the good of myself, but for my family. (When Mom ain’t happy-ain’t NO ONE happy!)

The wonderful and inspirational President Gordon B. Hinckley wrote in the November 2007 issue of Ensign:

“Anger is the mother of a whole brood of evil actions.”

Think about that for a second: Anger is the mother of a whole brood of evil actions. How many times have we argued with a person out of anger, saying things we would only regret later? Anger stems from our own imperfections and frailty and by engaging with the devil of anger it becomes easier for it to embrace and overpower us. Rational becomes invisible and we can’t see past our own emotions/anger.

We may be justified in being angry. However, it is our behavior from being angry in which we need to take precaution. My anger over not having a working vehicle wasn’t justifiable anger. Frustrating, yes. Anger towards my husband for not having the vehicle fixed in the time frame I wanted…totally unjustifiable. (I know! I was distraught about this truth too!)

Discerning the truth during the heat of an angry moment by asking Heavenly Father to open our hearts and eyes to the truth of why we are angry can be the first step in dealing with frustrating moments. Being aroused by anger, not calling on God for aid, will be as if we were throwing ourselves into stormy waters. We won’t know if we’ll drown or end up somewhere foreign. The end result is questionable, but always unpleasant.

Making sure I schedule time in my day for prayer and meditation insures having a peaceful mind. Clearing the debris of chaos and strife from my heart and soul insures I’ll be slow to anger and frustration. This isn’t an easy fix, it is a daily struggle to remain calm during the most difficult of times. However, placing all of my trust in God softens the blow. I know I’m not doing it all alone.

I can’t think of a better way to end this article by using a quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley who wrote: “So many of us make a great fuss of matters of small consequence. We are so easily offended. Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way” [November 2007 Ensign, Slow to Anger]

Resources:

Slow to Anger

Proverbs 16:32; Matthew 5:43–44; 11:15–17; Ephesians 4:31–32; Colossians 3:8; James 1:19–20; 2 Nephi 1:26; 3 Nephi 11:29–30; Doctrine and Covenants 60:2; 63:32; 84:24.

“Anger is [used] to control others. Some people have learned this art very well. They get what they want by becoming loud and angry. … Anger thus has the unrighteous goal of attempting to diminish the freedom of others” (Burton C. Kelly, “The Case Against Anger,” Ensign, Feb. 1980, 10).

“Jesus set the example in personal conduct regarding anger when, although he had been falsely accused and made the subject of railings and mockery, he stood majestically and completely composed before the perplexed Pontius Pilate. He did not retaliate in anger. Rather, he stood erect, poised, unmoved. His conduct was divine. What an example for all of us!“Listen to these marvelous words of the Savior, the master teacher:“ ‘Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.“ ‘But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.’ (Matt. 5:43–44.)” ( Elder ElRay L. Christiansen, who was an Assistant to the Twelve, Conference Report, Apr. 1971, 28; or Ensign, June 1971, 38).

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